This is sponsored content from BlogHer and The Laughing Cow.
One Saturday morning I was up early getting ready for by 9 year old daughter's belt ceremony for karate. She was going to be receiving her junior black belt and I was pretty excited for her. I decided to wear white capri pants and a black shirt in the spirit of her getting her black belt.
It was getting close to the time that we needed to be out the door, but I figured that I would have enough time to make a quick shake for breakfast. I also thought it might be smart to make two servings so I could keep one in the fridge for a snack later in the day. Not very often, but sometimes I get on a protein shake kick. I just get in a phase where I drink a protein shake for breakfast and dinner and eat a big lunch in between. They are really filling and I just feel better when I eat light in the evening.
I had a blender that was marketed for making smoothies. It had a spout attachment on the bottom of the jug that was used as a "tap" to pour the smoothie into a glass. I never used that attachment, so there was a way you could unscrew that attachment and screw on a tab that would plug up that hole. I just always kept that little tab attachment on.So, I added my double portion of water, protein powder and ice to the blender and carefully replaced the lid and pressed the "high" button. The blender immediately started to "whirr" and all of a sudden I was being shot in the stomach by a blast of cold, chocolaty water! Someone (probably under 5 feet tall) had not screwed on the tab attachment all the way and it shot off when I pressed the button. I screamed and tried to find the stupid "off" button but I was blinded by the protein shake being sprayed in my face. I finally found the plug and yanked it!
I think the funniest part was my family who witnessed the whole event. When I unplugged the blender, it went silent and it was like they paused to see how I was going to react before they did. I busted out laughing and then they did too. I probably could have cried or yelled, but I'm glad that my first reaction was to laugh!
I had to hurry and change into a new outfit to go to the belt ceremony and my good hubby cleaned up the mess. I found myself laughing at the incident all day. I had seen something similar happen on TV all my life, but never a straight shot into the stomach! I guess that's what I get for trying to eat healthy. :)
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43 comments:
I don't know if I can beat that, but i'll try! ;)
My husband like to have hard boiled eggs in the fridge so he can grab one on the go. My oldest also enjoys one every now and then. So on this paticular day (it was about a month or so ago) I decided to cook a few just to have on hand. Got my water going and put the eggs in. Then I got busy and COMPLETELY forgot about them. By completely forgetting about them I also left to run a couple of errands. Yep, with eggs cooking on the stove....when I got back from the errands, there was this odd smell in the house, I couldn't place it at all. The windows were open so I figured it was coming from outside. Then I heard some popping coming from the kitchen and it hit me like a mack truck!!! OH NO!!!! The eggs! I ran into the kitchen just in time to see eggs splattered EVERYWHERE!!! It was truly a gross thing to behold. Off went the stove and I proceeded to clean up burnt egg goo from all over my kitchen. I now set a timer for my boiled eggs, if for no other reason than to remind me that i'm cooking them. There is not enough sir freshener to get that smell out!!
When I was first married, I felt obligated to cook a full 4 course meal every night for my hubby and kids. I felt like that was the least I could do for all the hard work that he did. Little did I know, that many times, he wished I hadn't. LOL! As in the one time, I accidentally knocked the pepper shaker over into the pot of scalloped potatoes I was making. I had scooped out most of the fallen pepper, but I guess I didn't quite get enough out. As I watched my husband eat his dinner with tears streaming down his face (the pepper heat was way too much to handle) and not saying one word to me about it, I suddenly realized how much he loved me to do that. I let him eat his entire supper though, because I was too embarrassed to say it was a mistake and not the recipe. WE both laugh and laugh about it now.
when i was first married and clueless in the kitchen, i attempted to make a nice dinner for my new husband. EVERYTHING burned, such a cliche i know, but i was literally that cook who burnt everything. the chicken, the potatoes, the veggies. don't ask me how i managed that, to this day i just shake my head at that. luckily my husband took it in good humor and ordered us a pizza.
My first husband and I, well that was eons ago, anyway, moved from Los Angeles, Calif., to Columbus, Georgia, and I had never lived in the south ever. Larry, hubbie #1, worked as a director of sales and marketing for Holiday Inn, and we were transferred, and not knowing anything about the South I was in a world I did not identify with, at first. I can fit in almost anywhere, well almost, and that is another funny story.
I would go to the Farmer's Mkt. every week to get these outrageous fresh Southern homegrown goodies. Larry's big boss was coming over for dinner, and some other very VIP characters, and the request for dinner was some good ole homegrown white corn on the cob. These gentlemen were from L.A. So off to the Farmer's Mkt I skipped, and found the best price on corn on the cob ever, and they were so big, and deliciously juicy looking. My mouth was watering already, and off to the kitchen I ran. The Southern man that I bought these gr8 looking cobs from was so nice, he was a black older man, and looked so southern and countryfied, and was he...
We all sat down for this delicious Southern comfort food, and we were all reaching for the butter, salt and pepper, and then the final glory a big bite of this yellow delight, and that is when it actually hit all of us at once. None of us could even bite into the corn on the cob. It was hard as rock, and there was nothing you could do to make it better. With egg on my face, lol, I gathered up some other type of veggies, and went on with our din din. My husband was totally embarassed, I was just 25, and was so eager to make the greatest of impressions, but instead I had a big fat hard corn on the cob flop. I ventured out the next day and off to the same spot I had previously bought our disaster corn on the cob at, and no one was there. I asked another gentleman if he had seen the man that was there before, and is he coming back? I proceeded to tell my story, as I am a talker, and friendly, and he was holding his side he was laughing so hard. I had also brought the culprit corn on the cob along, and showed him how damn, sorry, hard it was. Once he got his breath, "Mam that ain't no human eating corn on the cob, that is "PIG CORN." Okay, what does that mean. Only hogs eat that corn, you had a prank played on you...Oh my, well at least I know now my cooking abilities didn't fail, my shopping skills did.
This anecdote makes me look less than smart, but I will tell it anyway. I went to get my oil changed at Jiffy Lube. I pulled my car up to where the line ended, and the mechanic walked over to me. I had the door open, but was still sitting in the car. He told em to put the window down. So I did. And nothing happened. He was standing there watching me with a look on his face, and then reached around the door and hit the window down button. The window immediately went down. I was pressing the unlock button. I felt so stupid, which I'm usually not!
Was it supposed to be a kitchen funny?
This one sort of is. But not really. I was in the kitchen making dinner when the one liner hit one day years ago when my husband came home from work.
Earlier that day, while my kindergartener was at school, I had my 3 yo playing a game on the computer in the den. He was potty training and wearing underwear. I, rather stupidly, thought I'd run and take a quick shower while he was occupied at the computer. While I was in the shower, he peed in his pants, all over daddy's den chair and floor. He came running in to the bathroom, threw open the shower curtain, saw me naked and was yelling about the pee. I hurried through the shower and we took care of the accident. Not another word was really said about it all day.
Until my husband came home from work. Out of nowhere the 3 yo said, "Daddy, me potty den, Mommy, big boos."
We almost died laughing that really his two big important things of the day were peeing in the den and seeing my big "boos".
I came home one day, unlocked the door and entered to find nuclear winter in my house. Not my usual greeting from my happy, giant Black Labrador, Hoover. EVERYTHING was coated with a powdery snow of white ash. I called out HELLO????" No answer. There was a spooky silence as the dog was missing and my footsteps tracked across the floor. Now I was scared. What was going on? What had happened here and where was the dog? I walked back through the snowy house, still looking for the dog.
Hoover comes by his name honestly. He eats ANYTHING and vacuums it up before it even hits the floor. Any food, anything that once was food, anything that might ever be food in the future, all of it goes down the gullet as soon as I turn my back.
I finally found him, lying in his crate, with a look on his face like he knew he had made a terrible mistake. I could see why immediately. His long whiskers were caked and white like walrus tusks and hung heavy down the sides of his face. His face itself was entirely pasty white and his mouth, usually open in a big, panting Lab smile, was sealed shut, with his lips glued together. Whatever it was, he wasn't talking.
Then I noticed the torn remains of the new 5 lb. bag of flour I had left on the counter-top that morning. I had been planning to make a pizza when I came home. Hoover had something else in mind. Apparently, as soon as I left he grabbed it and shook it violently until it exploded and spewed flour all over the house. Then, he ate it. But he must have gotten thirsty from the dry flour so he got a drink of water, then ate some more flour, drank some more water, and ate more flour, on and on until he decided to rest & take a nap. That was when the flour and water had a chance to make the paste that glued his mouth shut!
Later, after the dog bath, the clean up and the lectures about counter-surfing for food, Hoover admitted that raw AP flour was probably going to be safe in the kitchen next time. . . . but those peaches. . . .
I was walking on the treadmill at the gym, minding my own business when this gorgeous guy decided to walk past me. I turned around to watch him go by, lost my footing and proceeded to do a face plant on the treadmill making a fool out of myself in front of someone I was hoping to perhaps get to know in the future. Several people around me were trying their hardest not to laugh but I must admit it was pretty funny.
Thanks!
hey there, I am a new reader (found you by way of Reeni over at Cinnamon Spice), Anyway, i recently posted about a huge wedding I just catered for 700
http://svoortmeyer.blogspot.com/2010/08/i-dos-and-present-for-you.html
Anyway, for dessert they had ordered a trio of baby cakes. Their colors were black, white and red. So I made red velvet, white, and chocolate cakes. Mind you, I made 700 of each. A few days before the wedding, I was reviewing the wedding menu grocery list and noticed I had ordered a case of carrots and wasn't sure why...until I remembered...They hadn't ordered the cakes red white and black, but rather the frostings on top. I was supposed to make red velvet, white, and....carrot cake....AAACK I had made 700 of the wrongg cakes. It wasn't funny then to stay up all night fixing my faux pas, but I laugh now.
Let me just end in saying anything from laughing cow rocks, we live on it in our house.
well this is my sister's story, but i have permission to use it. When she was learning to bake, she couldnt tell the difference betwen salt and sugar, so she added 1.5 cups of salt instead of 1.5 cups of sugar to a cookie recipe, and needless to say they were NOT edible!
My husband works in education and his kids were coloring pictures of themselves, and this one little boy walked up with a picture that was only half done, so my husband asked the kid, why didn't you color the boy in the picture in? He's blank, and the boy replied "I can't find the caucasian marker" We thought it was cute :)
Mjf926 at mail dot com
Email: bluegirl1423@gmail.com
Comment: My story consists of a cat that likes water and a toilet. Our cats usually jump up onthe toilet lid to get to the sink for some water, but I dont think they realized that we have to put the lid down before they can jump up, and one day our little boy kitten jumped up, not thinking,and in he went . . . so we had to wash him off, as we hadn't flushed yet :-/
Here is a "funny" story, but more like frustrating:
Our brand new Amana dishwasher broke 10 months after we got it, so we had one ocmpany out, then another company out to fix it, only to find out the part we needed was backordered for 2 months, so they decided to replace it, so we waited 3 weeks for that to come in, and when they came to deliver it, we found out it wouldn't fit . . . so now it's been 3 months and we are still without a dishwasher . . . funny, isnt it? :-P
seanm1999 at hotmail dot com
tweeted
@shoppingchic2
we have season passes for an amusement park, we got them because they have a thomas land and our son loves thomas...well the thomas land is pretty close to the entrance and as soon as my son sees the sign for it..we beeline straight for it...however we bypass all the rides..amusements etc....and we play with their train table. mind you we have one at home. there have been several occasions that we have gone to the park and only played on the train table....it's pretty funny that we paid so much for passes just to do what we could do at home
nannypanpan at sbcglobal.net
We already had two grown dogs when my stepsister asked me to foster a puppy from the shelter she works at; the shelter was caring for dogs with parvo and they needed to segregate the healthy dogs from the parvo pups. She swore it would only be two weeks. Of course, everyone fell hard for little "Trinket" and when the time came to give her back, it was impossible. She was now our "Bailey".
Within weeks she settled in and became Demon Dog, Hound from Hell. The cute affectionate puppy was into EVERYTHING and no one was safe. She'd steal your most precious possessions and drag them into her "den" under the dining room table. Everyone learned to look under the table if you were missing your shoe, a cell phone and even keys. She didn't chew them, she just wanted them for her own.
The once exception was rocks. She became obsessed with rocks outside and every time she went out with the two older dogs, she'd drag a rock into the house with her in her mouth. Then she'd run under the table and attempt to chew them until I wrestled it out of her kung-fu jaws-of-life death grip. I learned to stand goalie at the back door when the dogs came in and snatch the rock out of her mouth before she even crossed the threshold.
One cold winter day I was talking on the phone with my mom and was distracted. I let the dogs in and Bailey was off like a rocket and I saw her bee-lining for the dining room table with her "prize" clutched in her mouth. I told my mom to hold on and went after her so I could do my Steve Irwin impression and tackle my furry-alligator and snatch the treasured rock from her clutches. She anticipated my move and took off like a rocket. I chased her all over the dining room and living room until I had her corned next to the couch, reached in and grabbed it from her mouth..except this time, it wasn't a rock. It was a frozen piece of dog poop..aka a "poopsicle" that was starting to melt from being in the dog's warm mouth as I chased her around the room.
My poor mother thought I was being mauled since she could hear my scream through the phone. She couldn't stop laughing after I told her what happened. Luckily Bailey has outgrown her gross obsession since then.
shel704 at aol dot com
I was at the library the other day and my son needed to go to the restroom. So, I took him and when he was finished in the stall next to me, he shouted "I won the pee race!!!". It seems like everything is a race with my kids, but the pee race was a new one to me! I was vaguely aware that someone else was in the bathroom, but didn't pay much attention. So, we finish and go back to the children's section. The children's librarian comes up to me and says - so I hear you lost the race. What?? I say. And she cracks up laughing and told me that she was in the bathroom and thought the pee race was hilarious! There's never any privacy with kids!!
winnieayala at yahoo dot com
It wasn't funny at the time but I actually once blew up the stove. Now it wasn;t like it totally blew up but I was cooking pasta and the water spilled on the flat top. This stove was old so the water leaked into where the heating elements are and it sizzled and popped and ons of black smoke came out. Luckily the breaker turned off and besides some smoke & the fire alarm going off, it was fine. The alarm company called and checked onme and I said, it;s fine. Nothing is going on. THey sent the fire dept anyway. So 2 fire trucks show up with about 10 firemen. The problem, I am in my jammies with my hair up like Pebbles Flintstones and I look like heck. They all came in, checked everything out and left. When I looked out the whole neighborhood was out. It was embarrasing but now funny!
One time my husband said to me, Why can't you make bread like my mother? I told him, I would if he could make dough like his father and we laughed all night at that!
gmissycat@yahoo.com
My great niece went to the doctor for her 18 month shot. When the nurse stuck her in the thigh she didn't cry. Then the nurse pricked her finger... She slapped the mess out of the nurse. Oh and she still didn't cry. LOL!
When my husband and I were first married, the only thing I could master was something from a box (something helper!). He couldn't stand it. I noticed he was eating less and less, and then one day he asked if I wanted help. Little did I know, he was like a chef! He cooked me under the table...I got to cook less and had a gourmet chef at home! Good blunder!
leahforlove(at)aol(dot)com
I was walking on the treadmil at the gym, minding my own business when this gorgeous guy decided to walk past me. I turned around to watch him go by, lost my footing and proceeded to do a face plant on the treadmill making a fool out of myself in front of someone I was hoping to perhaps get to know in the future. Several people around me were trying their hardest not to laugh but I must admit it was pretty funny.
I once made a pan of brownies and ate so many, I decided I had to eat the rest to hide the evidence. A few weeks later, I mentioned that I put some cinnamon in some brownies I made, my husband said "what brownies"--I was caught in my own little web!
One morning I had a glass of milk before work, and I remembered that there was about half a gallon left. Later that day, my husband called me and asked me to pick up milk on the way home. I remember thinking that he must of been really thirsty or something. So I picked up the milk and later that night I went to get a glass out of the cupboard. And there was the half empty carton milk,in the glass cupboard, where I had put it before I went to work. Oops.
tooterpies at hotmail dot com
I was one of 5 brothers and sisters mostly older than me. My mom and dad took us after church to a buffet type restaurant for dinner. My stomach became upset and before I could let my mom know I was getting sick right in the middle of the restaurant. This made my sick and she began getting sick followed by my brother and then my other brother and last my youngest brother. Yeah my poor parents had 5 kids getting sick in the middle of this restaurant GROSS! Needless to say we never went back there.
Not a “real” cooking story, but so very funny. My husband had to dig up a pipe in the backyard to fix it. When he was done, he was going to seed it over, but the boys loved to dig in the dirt, so we decided to leave it for them to play in. A few weeks ago – the day after a rain – they went outside to play and I was getting dinner ready, doing chores, etc. I could hear them, but was so surprised after almost an hour that there was no fighting, yelling, crying, etc. I was thinking to myself, boy, they are getting along so nicely, I have such good boys maybe we can go out for ice cream after dinner as a treat. I stepped outside to compliment them on their behavior, and this is what I was greeted with
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2049417&id=1330555949&l=d4efff91b6
I must have said something like “What possessed you?” and my youngest (the one covered from head to toe) said “I was making mud pies for dinner, but the recipe went all wrong!” I could not do anything but laugh, but needless to say, the area was seeded by the weekend!
tweeted
http://twitter.com/fairydancer35/status/22842180896
I recently was going to fry up some fresh fish. I put what I thought was some flour breading on it. I took the ziploc bag out of the freezer and coated the fish, only to find out that it was actually powdered sugar left over from Christmas cookies 6 months ago! Luckily I figured this out before I started the frying process.
nuthouse(at)centurytel(dot)net
tweeted: http://twitter.com/KerryBishop/status/22909760721
nuthouse(at)centurytel(dot)net
One time, I made a pot of spaghetti with my grandma. She had a can of dog food on the flat top stove and it overheated and exploded...we can assume, there were "bits" (or kibbles maybe) in the sauce. When I suggested throwing it out, my grandma just smiled and fed it to the (unaware) family anyway.
I didn't eat that night ;)
I was supposed to make deviled eggs for a party, so I put the eggs on to boil and sat down at my computer. I became engrossed in what I was doing and forgot about the eggs...until I heard a small explosion in the kitchen. All the water had boiled out of the eggs and the eggs had gotten so hot, the yolks were exploding out of the eggs and shooting across the room! I'll never live that down!!
bleatham*at*gmail.com
I found a recipe on allrecipes.com for 'Canteloupe Pie' and I made it. The. Most. Disgusting. Food. Concoction. Ever.
Not only that- I served it to guests! What was I thinking? I will NEVER live it down. It's been years and I'm still teased about it.
I have had manyy kitchen disasters, but I'm choosing the most recent one to tell you, one I even blogged about!!
I was making the caramel for caramel corn, and using a too small pan, poured in the baking soda, which as expected, bubbled up, and out of the pan. I kept stirring and stirring, thinking I could get the air out, only to get more of the caramel on the stove and the counter. So I decided to pour some out, trying to salvage what was left, and hoping that the entire thing wouldn't end up on the counter.
I picked up the pan, burnt my fingers. Dropped it back, soaked the burnt hand in ice water, and started using the spoon to throw some out [like a bucket in a sinking boat] Finallly some sense came through, and I turned off the heat, which stopped the bubbling. Only now, I had a pan, a spoon, the stove, counter, and floor to clean up. Took 3 hours!!
I was making cookies just the other day. My kids were helping me. I cracked the eggs into the mixer bowl. I must have been tired as the WHOLE shell fell in with the eggs. Before it registered, my kids turned the mixer on! We had egg shell cookies instead of chocolate chip cookies!
I found a recipe for a Chipotle Bean and Tomato soup once, bought all the ingredients and proceeded to make a big pot of the soup for my clients at work. I manage a group home for special needs clients and we cook all thier meals for them each day. I followed the recipe, or so I thought and made a big batch of soup. I ladled out a bowl of soup for my one client and gave it to him for lunch. He took dainty little sips and I noticed that his face was getting red, his ear lobes were getting red, and he was slower and slower taking a tiny mouthful of soup.I asked him how he liked it and being the people pleaser he is he said it was yummy. Somehow I did not believe him and had a taste myself. I could not believe how smoking hot the soup was. Where had I gone wrong??? I reread the recipe slowly and found my mistake. I had misread the recipe where it said to add one or two canned Chipotle peppers, and instead I had added two cans of Canned Chipotle Peppers instead. I could not even salvage the soup, it was way too hot. Next time I will make sure to read the recipe a few times before feeding something like that to my clients!!
I can relate.
I finally got a Vita-Mix. I have wanted one for soooo long. But I wasn't expecting the bonuses that came with it when I flipped that switch:
1. New kitchen curtains.
2. And a new paint job for the kitchen ceiling.
Yep. The lid is a must.
That is one powerful blender!
-Donna B
hungryearl-misc@yahoo.com
Well, I recently blogged about my first experience trying to debone a chicken, which was QUITE a disaster: http://lifeblessons.blogspot.com/2010/08/getting-to-know-my-chicken-dinner.html
Here's a little excerpt:
"I decided I'd give it a try and picked up a whole chicken the next time I was at the grocery store, and took it home to discover the pastime of carving your own chicken.
As I pushed and prodded the poor creature, memories of 9th grade biology class and frog dissection came back. I couldn't figure out where I was supposed to cut and tried to pause and rewind the video tutorials to get a better understanding. It felt like the videos were in fast-forward mode, as the chefs sliced and diced with super-human speed. It wasn't nearly as easy as they made it look. Perhaps that's why they're the professionals?
Whereas the videos took less than a minute for the adept cooks and butchers, it took me about 45 minutes of snipping and tugging and sweating (seriously) to finally get my chicken carved up, although one drumstick and both wings got mutilated in the process (not sure how).
I shoved the cuts into the fridge, and washed my hands about 5 times once I was done, slightly grossed out by the hands-on experience I just had with my dinner. (Not to mention the extra parts that rolled out from the inside of my dinner during the operation .)"
lifeblessons at gmail dot com
One day a friend and I were eating lunch together. She happened to have pizza and I can't remember what I was eating. Anyway, during the course of our lunch we were talking and laughing. At one point, my friend laughed so hard that her bite of pizza flew out of her mouth and landing on my clothing!
sazzyfrazz at gmail dot com
I have a funny story. I told my daughter that I could change the color on tv. We watched the Wizard of Oz and I told her I would change the color after Dorothy’s house crashed in the tornado. Her eyes opened up wide, and she was like, “Wow, Daddy, you were right!”
pauleyd68 (at) yahoo (dot) com
Recently I was making breakfast for my niece...I yelled to her, "N, how do you like your eggs?" She said, "I don't know, I haven't tried them yet!" :)
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